Critic

Oh, hello there, Stephen.  I recognize your scent, your taste, your touch.  You’re hanging onto me like a backpack or a koala cub.  I shake furiously to try to get you off, but you are a stage-five clinger.  You have impeccable grip.  So, it seems we’re stuck together.  In which case, it’d be in both of our best interests to make the most of it.

I hear what you have to say, but I really don’t want to believe it.  You say I’m fat, or well on my way, and that sucks.  For various reasons… First, it’s just flat-out not true. And second, if it were true, so what?  Would it make me a flawed individual? A bad person?  Failed at human school?  I strongly disagree.

Also, you say I’m judgmental.  But here I have a real problem because my suspicion is the judgment actually comes from you.  Yes, you!  You are projecting.  This is the epitome of projection.  You’re a critical fucking asshole and you go around calling me that all day long.  You know what, I’m not willing to accept it anymore.  I’m going to give you your judgments back.  Thank you for offering your opinion, sincerely.  I can see how these beliefs can help inform my decisions.  But by no means do I live as the best version of myself when these opinions dominate my thoughts.

Let’s address another qualm I have with something you keep suggesting: that I am lazy and irresponsible.  This one really is striking a chord.  I find myself paralyzed to think or be.  Now, does that idea really serve me?  To be more motivated?  To be more self-starting?  Fuck No!  It’s like a tranquilizer gun.  I’m frozen.  And again, let’s take a look at the validity of this thought.  So wrong.  So not true.  I am, on the other hand, truly enjoying finding the balance between being and doing.  Yesterday was a being day, with a little doing mixed in.  The day before was definitely a doing day.  And for today?  Well, let’s see what unfolds.

I think you need to lower your ridiculously high standards.  I used to blame L for saying these things, but my God, it was you all along.  I’m not going to deny the value of your voice.  Sometimes I really do need to be discerning, and my friend, I know who to call in that case.  But for right now, I invite you to fuck off.  Take a rest, take a break.  Go to your happy place.  You can sleep easy knowing that you’ve worked hard and I’m sure you will again.  For now, I bid you farewell. ❤️


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