3/16/19

The hole swallows me whole.  Consumes me, total. I am only a hole.  Insatiable.  Unable to be filled.  Unfathomable.  Hollow. In my space and time I seek.  I told myself I was whole. I thought I loved myself.  I lost myself in the hole.  I walked down into it and then it was covered over.Continue reading “3/16/19”

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Who?

One moment, you’re human, the next moment, an animal. It is probably the last night, as I slump beneath his sheets, clawing at his will. Everything is a fucking façade. Tell me you love me.  I know it’s true. A mask worn. A need for approval. Mascara running, hysterical, drunk. Once the admiration fades, theContinue reading “Who?”

Heart Shivers and Beautiful Women

From March 2018: Today.  My car is getting an oil change. Today.  I am sitting outside a smoothie shop typing, listening to ‘easy pop’ to get in the zone.  The sun is shining on my nose, lips, chin, neck, chest, shoulders, fingers, solar plexus, arms.  A puppy is next to me chewing on a bush.Continue reading “Heart Shivers and Beautiful Women”

Call of the Wild

Oh, the distance I have come. Oh, the distance I will go. Continually on the path towards growth. For the past 30 years that growth was imperceptibly slow. Normal rates of maturation that come with age. Once I hit that last exact there was an altered speed beyond my comprehension. Time sped up. Mind slowedContinue reading “Call of the Wild”

Mother, Father, Child

Right hand over left, I begin the internal quest to answer the questions that rest on my lips, on my tongue, on my mind, on my breast. Experiences, emotions, in need of digest. Radically nourished, mind begins to meld, into body, feeling held. Singing softly, mother’s milk. Sipping slowly, get my fill. Supremely safe. Protected,Continue reading “Mother, Father, Child”