Heart Shivers and Beautiful Women

From March 2018:

Today.  My car is getting an oil change.

Today.  I am sitting outside a smoothie shop typing, listening to ‘easy pop’ to get in the zone.  The sun is shining on my nose, lips, chin, neck, chest, shoulders, fingers, solar plexus, arms.  A puppy is next to me chewing on a bush.

Earlier today.  I spoke to my best friend Mallory for an hour.  I spoke to Lamberto.  I made a salad out of the back of my car.  I got $20 in gas and went poop in a Giant Gas Station.  I gave a carrot to Marga that had two legs.  She carved a woman’s body into it.  I woke up to Marga singing Om Namah Shivaya with her harmonium.  Or was she singing her light language song with the ukulele?

Marga. I had the pleasure of working with her two shifts at Chocolatree.  A beautiful light radiates from her.  She smiles into my soul.  She sings like a freaking angel.  She has taught me to love myself fully; to let my heart sing.  Mahalo, Marga.

On Sunday.  I said goodbye to Niki.  We woke up and went to the spa at Los Abrigados.  We used the steam shower, the sauna, the saltwater pool, the hot tub, and the showers.  We ate lunch in our cars.  We met at Lulu’s for cacao and walked to the farmer’s market.  We took pictures in the Lulu studio with Marga.  She gave me firewood and water.

Niki.  She is on a self-discovery road trip.  She lives in Brooklyn, NY.  She is a rooftop gardener.  She is deep and dark and determined.  She is an artist.  She is so cool.  She’s at the Grand Canyon today.  She and I understand each other.

This week, I felt what it feels like to have friends again.  This feeling/experience truly came at the perfect time, because I was struggling a little bit with loneliness.

Being my own father and mother

self care and spa days

fires and releasing the past



heart shivers


healing in abundance

abundance of chocolate and food and beautiful women


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