Gymnopedie No.1

I took care of you.  When you were stressed or overwhelmed, I comforted you.

When you were sad, I held you.

When you were angry, I tried to calm you.

When you were excited, I went off duty.

When you were happy, I let you be you.

When you were content, I went to my garden to tend.

I went to my heart to mend; to lend a helping hand.

You were my number one.

I was always my number two.

It makes sense that you miss me.  I supported you being you.

But can you see the limitations of this relationship?

Why did I take care of you?

What did it do for me?

All of my energy wrapped up in you.

Nothing left for Stephanie.

It’s no wonder I felt like I was living your life.

I gave myself no time to do much of anything but think about you and us and how much I resented you.

Now I’m taking care of myself.

I cry and I laugh.

I get angry too.

Can you believe it?

I have needs just as real as you.

It’s natural to want to point blame here.

Was it me?

Was it you?

My goodness, it was karma that brought us together and to see the lesson will only benefit us two.

So what is the moral, the teaching, the Truth?

Love yourself first, and then the rest will love you too.

I feel like I’m losing a child, a lover, a curse.  Seriously, I’ve never felt more relieved from my duties but at times I’ve never felt worse.  I needed you just as much as you needed me.  You were my everything.  You were my hearse.  That’s no way to live, putting the other always first.


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