Quick Fix

It’s 9am and I can’t get that coffee cake off my mind.  I know it’s not the best fuel for my body, but I JUST WANT IT.  I’ve already gone off protocol this week, so Fuck It!  But it’s less about the protocol and more about the pleasure.  Usually, I wake up early, do yoga and meditate.  Today, sleeping in and eating coffee cake are much more alluring.  That’s because they provide so much more dopamine to my brain.  Eat the cake, BOOM, boost of dopamine.  Instantaneous.  Meditate….maybe long term effects will be experienced with regular practice.  No guarantee of immediate gratification.  But now that cake is in my body and the negative consequences are beginning to take shape.  Stomach ache, headache, lethargy.  No desire to do much.  Until it’s appropriate to get my next hit.  When I decide to pull myself off the sugar again, it’s going to be rough.  But I’ll feel better and I’ll start appreciating the little things in life again: waking up with the sun, downward dog, savasana, taking a breath, the sun meeting the top of my head, a walk around the neighborhood, vegetables. You know what slowly pulled me off course?  My mind, and cheese.